When I was in 7th grade I had one of those crushes that simply consumes you, on a Senior boy…dream big. Did it matter that my haircut had been done in the kitchen at home and that my chest resembled mosquito bites…no, it did not because nothing can stop love. Every day during study hall […]
How I Tried to Lose My Virginity and Gorg Gluten Free Dessert that is Good For You! (plus my nutmilk recipe)
posted by galadrielmasterson
Bad Acid Trips and My Raw, Vegan, Gluten Free Taco Wraps!
posted by galadrielmasterson
If you find yourself in a meeting at a major network to pitch your reality TV show idea, it’s def a good idea and highly advised that you share your bad acid trip story from the 90’s, assuming you have one. That’s what I did and then viola! The TV exec said, we are gonna […]
I Auditioned To Be a Stripper/Here is My Raw-Vegan-Gluten Free Oatmeal Recipe
posted by galadrielmasterson
I couldn’t decide if I wanted my next blog entry to be my famous Raw/Vegan/Gluten Free Oatmeal recipe or if I wanted to share the story of the time I auditioned to be a stripper in the early 90s and then I realized, wow…. the two really work wel…
Yes I Deleted You
posted by galadrielmasterson
I feel confident that my message leading up to the Presidential Election on my social networks was very clear to all that saw it; the message being:If you are supporting a presidential candidate who is actively seeking to ensure gay Americans and …
If you can’t throw stuff away, I can help you.
posted by galadrielmasterson
CLOSET CLEANSE by Lady Gaga wait she is not available this week…. CLOSET CLEANSE BY GALADRIEL MASTERSON! Most of us have closets and drawers stuffed ( w a y t o o ) full. Often, our closets are crowded with clothing, shoes and accessories that no …
There Is No Such Thing As A Slut
posted by galadrielmasterson
Someday when I am a parent to a human child, I will teach that kid that There Is No Such Thing As A Slut. Slut was a derogatory word created with the intention to make a person (women) feel shameful about loving getting their boxes banged. Ain’t n…
Wait A Minute This is Too Deep
posted by galadrielmasterson
I n t r o d u c i n g The only tool you will ever need to maneuver through relationships especially the one with yourself…. My Advice Column. Galadriel Talk Message your questions via facebook or tweet them to @galadrieltalk, I am here to help c…
Kult of Kale Followers: the newest OMG MAJ GORG Kale Chips Recipe
posted by galadrielmasterson
Ya know the kale chips you see at Whole Paycheck? The ones in the small clear plastic box? The ones you need to get a low interest mortgage from an equal opportunity lender in order to buy? You do? They are sooooo good, right? I agree and now you …
The 7th Episode of IN BED WITH GALADRIEL feat The Verizon, Can U Hear Me Now Guy, Paul Marcarelli!!!
posted by galadrielmasterson
SECOND EPISODE OF WORLDS GREATEST CHIT CHAT SHOW “In Bed With Galadriel!”
posted by galadrielmasterson
I am falling in love, head over heels in love with the experience of creating and filming my chit chat show IN BED WITH GALADRIEL.It is a laugh riot. Here is episode two featuring, John Roberts as his character Debra and Brazil’s own, Adelmo! Omig…
FIRST EVER EPISODE OF MY TALK SHOW: IN BED WITH GALADRIEL
posted by galadrielmasterson
I have always had this feeling that OPRAH was gonna knock on me ole door and assign me to a major network hosting a talk show under my namesake. Granted, with the makeups and the breakups and the moving and the avant guard/edgy (read ghetto) neigh…
Lezberry Dating Advice for Straight Girlz subtitled DO NOT LOOK AT HIM LIKE SOMEONE TO SPLIT THE ELECTRIC BILL WITH.
posted by galadrielmasterson
Straight Single Ladies/SSL’s, listen to Mother. [ For the purpose of this blog when I say Mother or Ma or Mama I mean myself.] Anyhooper, ole Ma knows best and I know why you are single, when what you want is, HRC. (Hot Rockin Cock). This blog is …
Hot List for having/maintaining a Cuntastic Summer
posted by galadrielmasterson
Summer is a season we fill with expectation. From the first time we saw Grease or read Francesca Lia Block/Judy Blume we have been conditioned to respond to summer with dreams of the perfect tan, body, romance and to earn a ton of money during thi…
Gwyneth Paltrow Lives Under My Bed
posted by galadrielmasterson
My more than a girlfriend, Mandy and I are about to embark on a six day juice cleanse.(read: hell followed by bliss followed by looking like KateMoss/Madonna/GaGa/Cher/EltonJohn by day 5) Anyhoo, just the word cleanse is a bittersweet reminder of …
Carb n Sugar Free Mousse aka Galadriel’s Magical/Carb Free/ Dessert World.
posted by galadrielmasterson
Dear Reader,I, Galadriel Masterson am clearly an, Angel on the Earth; first and foremost because I am a lezberry. As everyone knows and the jealousy is evident everywhere, God only makes his true stars into homosexuals. But anyway, that has nothin…
The Kale Files or How To Eat Like Madonna If She Were A Lezberry PART ONE of a New Recipe Series.
posted by galadrielmasterson
I get asked about once a week to share my recipes so I says to myself (in young, urban drug dealer, type voice); why not blog that shit, son! I heart cooking majorly and I do it nearly every day. I am also a full blown health nut. Some folks crave…
Hey Hey Johnny
posted by galadrielmasterson
I don’t know how to blog about 9/11 cuz it was way to huge for me to down size it into language. I had a friend who died in the towers. Back in my band days, my first band, Candy Ass was a very sassy, driven, all girl power pop punk quartet. We ha…
GaladrielTalk/ A helpful guide to speaking my language
posted by galadrielmasterson
GaladrielTalk A helpful guide to speaking my language. Lezberry: fun, chic lesbian. God’s favorite creation. Berry: a quick, easy, full of flavor way to say Lezberry. ” Waaa, I wish I was a berry I am so sick of men.” (As adapted my fave cougar Jo…
The Home Made Dog Food Blog Holler!
posted by galadrielmasterson
Galadriel’s Homemade Dog FoodHey Kidz,There are lots of homemade dog food diets out there to choose from as a concerned consumer/dog parent. My recipe is not the end all be all; but I have been making it for 5 years for three dogs and have seen in…
The Rules
posted by galadrielmasterson
This blog is going to begin with a song and performance, starring YOU. Before reading, please go to a mirror and sing to yourself in an almost reprimanding/schooling/finger wagging and/or ghetto girl kinda way. Please use the melody of, It’s My Pa…
DIET BLOG! DIETS R FUN! I HEART DIETS! (I have been on a diet since 1974 I am an expert)
posted by galadrielmasterson
Well buddy, it’s that time of year: Diet Time! The holidays are over and you are feeling big as barn and willing to do whatever it takes to get back to your ideal weight…the weight from early October, remember how the jeans fit then? But let me …
The Tree
posted by galadrielmasterson
I am, apparently one of the few hip/lezberry/fashion stylist/former musician/blogger types who just worships and adores Xmas! I love all Xmas decor, from 99 cent store tacky to the ultra chic n timeless, wreath covered windows of brownstones. I lo…
pooping-sneezing-orgasms.
posted by galadrielmasterson
pooping.sneezing.orgasm’s. People, I have an announcement to make, although it should come as no new news (or is it know new knews or no knew newz?) to not a one of you; these are every 1’z three favorite things; that is my announcement. If these …
It gets even better than you can imagine
posted by galadrielmasterson
Most of us at one time or another in our life have thought about suicide. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. The current problem is an epidemic of unrelenting and severe bullying on gay teenagers in the United States. But you …
Fashion
posted by galadrielmasterson
When I was a teen trapped liked a wild monkey in the rural hills of Vermont I was desperate for entertainment and travel. Neither were an option. I mean hello we only got ABC..no Cosby Show, just Macgyver. Gross. The most travel I did was to my on…
How To Survive Losing the Alleged Love of Your Life
posted by galadrielmasterson
INTRODUCTION… I have several ammmaaaazing people in my life going thru some significant change/breakups/heartbreak so I thought to meself (read that line and the next one in an english accent please) time to pull out something I wrote a long tim…
hello bonjour
posted by galadrielmasterson
When I was a child I lived deep in the hills of rural Vermont. We lived in a dilapidated old farmhouse on the kind of dirt road where if someone actually drove by we all run to the window to see who it was and if they had Vermont or out of state p…
Adelmo
posted by galadrielmasterson
This is my friend Adelmo as you can clearly see he is a god from brazil. What you may not read in this picture is his outrageous humor we (that is just me but we in the blog world sounds real good for sponsors) will be posting many of his quotes s…
Omg, you should start a blog…
posted by galadrielmasterson
Everyone always says, “omg you should totally start a blog you are so funny.”So I says to myself this morning, you know what start your blog today. But now I am totes stressed like, what the hell am I gonna blog about it. So as I am blogging (omig…
galadriel masterson 