Bad Acid Trips and My Raw, Vegan, Gluten Free Taco Wraps!

If you find yourself in a meeting at a major network to pitch your reality TV show idea, it’s def a good idea and highly advised that you  share your bad acid trip story from the 90’s, assuming you have one.

That’s what I did and then viola! The TV exec said, we are gonna send your idea over to development. Granted, I never heard from him again, but hey, what a good story riiiiight! Ironically, he did call my now- famous, acid trip bestie in for a meeting.

You may be saying…why would you share your bad acid trip story? Duh, so the TV exec knows when you have dinner with Andy Cohen or Billy Eichner you are fully capable of making fun outrageous convo. (Do I have to spell everything out for you???)

 I really wanna get you in the kitchen so lemme just nutshell the acid trip story for you:
 A New Years Eve 1993 rave in Soho, New York City at a location that is now identified as the Prada store.  The bestie and I  buy two hits of acid from Angel, the drug dealer who always wore wings that was later murdered by famous club kid, Michael Alig. Rave gets busted by cops shortly before the acid kicks in. Back in our apartment in the East Village we begin tripping our lil baby faces off  which includes but not limited to:time travel through portals and a visit from Jesus and his seven Apostles. Side note: bestie who spent much of his trip nude, falling down and screaming things like Mother!!! or When will time change is now on an Emmy nominated television seris on a major network.
Anyhoo…..lets get back to age appropriate conversation like eating a mostly plant based diet and being gluten free!Everyone loves Mexican food so mama thought she would share with you how to make RAW VEGAN GLUTEN FREE TACO WRAPS!!!!!
When folks get healthy they miss the living hell out of chocolate and Mexican food. This old betch has a solution for both. Chocolate: see my blog titled PUT MY BALLS IN YOUR MOUTH.
Mexican Food: Read on!
Your grocery list will look like this:
*Gorgeous, fresh, organic collards
* Avocado
*Dried Chipotle Peppers
*Raw Organic Cashews
*Raw Organic Walnuts
*Olive Oil
*Nutritional Yeast
*Apple Cider Vinegar
*Braggs or Tamari
*Cumin
*Lemon
*Cilantro
*Tomato
*Garlic
*Onion

When you get all your beautiful ingredients home, you are gonna assemble your Walnut Taco Meat, Cashew Sour Cream and Guacamole. It will take under a half hour to whip this all up in your vitamix or food processor!

Walnut Taco Mix

Cup of Raw Walnuts, Chipotle Powder, A splash of Braggs or Tamari,  tablespoon of Cumin and a 1/4 cup of Olive Oil in a food processor or Vitamix.. Don’t over-blend, or you will end up with walnut butter. This is your “meat.” Put into a gorgeous serving bowl with a spoon.

side note to get your chipotle powder: Put about three dried chipotle peppers into a food processor and make those spicy babies submit into powder (you can add more if you want it spicier, I do!)

Cashew Sour Cream

Throw into your vitamix or food processor:

3/4 cup of raw cashews, juice of one lemon, 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar, 3 tablespoons of nutritional yeast, tons of fresh ground black pepper and about 1/4 cup of H20. Blend it until creamy and smooth and put it into a gorgeous serving bowl with spoon.

Guacamole

Mash two of your almost over ripe avocados into a bowl add: 1/4 finely chopped onion, 2 finely minced cloves of garlic, 1/2 cup finely chopped tomato, 1/4 cup of minced cilantro, add salt and the juice of 1.5 limes, then mix and stir and twerk. (don’t be shy to double this recipe btw) blend and mash then put into a big ole bowl with spoon.

Shells

Your shells are more of a wrap…de-stem and cut in half big, fresh, raw, collards.

You are ready to dig in!

Lay a collard or three on your plate..fill each collard with the meat, the guac and top with the cashew sour cream. Now roll it up real tight and take a bite….oh.my.goddess.Prepare to freak out with happiness.

Love, GaladrielImageImageImageImage

Advertisements