Omg, you should start a blog…

Everyone always says, “omg you should totally start a blog you are so funny.”
So I says to myself this morning, you know what start your blog today. But now I am totes stressed like, what the hell am I gonna blog about it. So as I am blogging (omigod I AM blogging) I am also stress eating (tofu n kale).
I have been rather gassy the last two days (is this good blogging material?)
In fact I thought I might crap my pants yesterday as I was killing a few minutes looking around a home store pre-pilates. So of course I began to walk out super fast with a rather pinched gait and wouldn’t ya know it as I am opening the door to leave is when the sales help decides we should chat.
“did you need any help today”
“no I was just pokin around”
“I really like your haircut”
side note thanks is said with wide, scared eyes as I am sure I am gonna shit my pants, a grown n sexy 38 year old new yorker post fashion shoot pre pilates but the sales help is not in tune to others and does not see I desperate to exit.
Anyuhooshal I did not crap my pants and never would but it sure can get scary out there huh kids.
I hate my first blog. I hate hate hate hate it and I am never blogging again.