There Is No Such Thing As A Slut

Someday when I am a parent to a human child, I will teach that kid that There Is No Such Thing As A Slut.

 

Slut was a derogatory word created with the intention to make a person (women) feel shameful about loving getting their boxes banged. Ain’t no shame in the game ladies, get your rocks off!!!! And while you are at it, remove that word from your consciousness.

 

This is what I will say to my daughter, Madonna….

 

Madonna honey, there is nothing wrong with loving sex and having it a lot and with various people, whether that be one on one or in groups as long as you are respectful to yourself and the people you are having sex with. Therefore, using a derogatory and shaming word such as slut is not okay. Then I will say, Madonna when Mom is talking to you about sex, don’t roll your eyes at me or I will slap your little face so hard those eyes will roll right down the street. I will follow that up of course by saying, I would never slap you Madonna, but you get the point right? Then I will say, Sweetie, Mom doesn’t mind if you wear a super short skirt and enough makeup to make one of moms lady boy friends like, Miss Guy, maj jells. I mean hello, Madonna, when your old Mom was in an all girl punk band I often performed in lingerie, bikinis n heels or skirts short enough to be called a belt. (insert more teen eye rolling here, although later in the week expect to find her looking at old photo albums from her Mother’s band days) All I care about, Madonna, is that you feel like a million bux and if its a mini skirt up to your eyelashes great, if its baggy stained work pants great….Mom just wants to see you love and enjoy being you being you. Now clean up your god damn room or you can forget having Joanne over, I mean it this time, Miss Madonna; don’t test me!

If my daughter is a waitress I will teach her tits equal tips. I mean hello why shouldn’t she use what invitro gave her to earn lots of Benjamin’s? Its her body why shouldn’t she do what she wants with it? THIS is what feminism looks like, THIS is what feminism talks like. THIS is gender equality…why downplay any fabu glorious part of the female body for fear of how it may be interpreted.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

 

My Mother had four children, each us of magical creatures has a different unicorn, I mean, Father. For three of us four delightful off springs, our Mother had to wait and see what we looked like to determine who our bio dads were; each time it was between two lucky fellas. My birth certificate has sir names crossed out, whited out, re-typed and finally just handwritten as she was figuring out which boy toy was me ole Dad. Ironically, my Father was the virgin…I think that explains why I have sooooooo much energy; I am the product of speedy, hearty, virgin sperm. (insert cheerleading jump called the Hurky here!) Though, isn’t it funny/sad that our mother taught us zip zero zilch about sex except that it was something men would use us for. But what if you enjoy being “used” for sex, what if the using is mutually and deeply deliciously satisfying? What if it’s women using you for sex, Mom?  Eventually, you fuck your soul mate and that is a connection on a level you could never imagine. Prior to fucking your soul mate; fingers crossed, you fucked many many many non soul mates and had a great time doing so.

 

Sooooooooo the moral of the story to be passed on for generations to come (pun intended) is enjoy fucking as often or as little as you like. Enjoy fucking a cornucopia of partners or just a handful. Just enjoy fucking and never allow a derogatory, shame based slur to be used cuz you do. There is no such thing as slut.

 

 

****attached please enjoy song of celebrations embracing the word Slut by Avenue D “do I look like a slut” and by The Bullys “sluts” as well as original art created on an ipad by Kelley Quan, Roland Pearman, Galadriel Masterson and Hans Neumann. And a photo of me during my days as a singer in all girl punk band called Candy Ass as featured in Paper Magazine shot by Josh Jordan.******

 

Slut


Do I Look Like A Slut (Original Mix) by Avenue D

 

Galadriel-3
Sluts by The Bullys
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